May 30, 2024
Dr. John Smith
Extinct, Inc
1600 Maryland Avenue
Boring, Oregon 97009
Dear Mr. Smith
We have been informed about some of your concerns regarding the safety of our food. I would like to inform you that we strive to make our food digestible by the vast majority of those who consume it and agree that public safety should be a priority in any company. In this letter, I hope to address all of your points about our food safety and edibility.
Concerning the portion of your letter which states, “There was a rat in my spaghetti”, I would like to state that the rat is in fact a quality tester at our restaurant whose presence is necessary for the healthy running of the restaurant.
Your letter then says, “The rat next chewed my leg, which later became infected”. We, as a restaurant and as a respectable organization, do not have any specimens of Rattus Rattus in our restaurant and believe that you must be mistaken.
Concerning your statement that “twelve cockroaches entered my shoes immediately after I sat down”, we would like to state that, as we have no cockroaches in the establishment, they must have been brought in by you.
Finally, concerning your allegations about our “numerous health violations”, we would like to remind you that said allegations are libel and if you cease to desist we will be forced to sue you.
Sincerely,
James Fredrickson
CEO